One sunny day, Hulk happens to be leaping through Manhattan and lands in front of a bank with some ruckus going on within. He roars once outside. On the inside, Black Cat shlts herself and leaves the scene. And her gear. Plus dat loot.
2 leaps later, Hulk drops onto the Raft. Also some ruckus going on - suddenly Green Goblin flies by on his glider. Insane enough not to shlt himself and actually attack Hulk, Norman throws some bombs. Gets smacked once and lands on a buoy 200 yards off the shore.
Moving on, Hulk crashes through a subway station in New York and sees Shocker. Roars. Shocker shlts himself and tries to collapse the rest of the ceiling on top of Hulk. Seeing the green figure instantly rising from the rubble, he runs off and leaves the country.
Emerging from the ruins of the crashed-in station, Hulk finds himself in a warehouse where Doc Ock is conducting some shady business. In the shadows, Black Cat once again sh1ts herself and goes on to join a monastery. After leaving the continent. Doc Ock, relying on his supreme intellect, overestimates his mecha-arms and actually attacks the "mindless brute". Gets mecha-arms tied up in a knot and is kicked through the roof. Goes MIA for quite a while.
Taking off and leaping over the docks, Hulk sees puny humans with guns running around in another warehouse. Annoyed by the sight of pew-pew-weaponry, he crashes in on them. Somewhere in the shadows Tasmkaster realizes all his copycat moves never have done anything worthwhile against Hulk when used by the original owners. Confesses all his crimes on video, exits through the back door and disappears.
The next leaps take Hulk onboard of a freighter, where The Hood is apparanetly schemeing. Drunken with delusions of grandeur, Hood teleports around and pew-pews. Gets too close and eats a fist. Wakes up from coma in a security prison med station 4 months later.
Moving on, Hulks roaming has taken him to Madripoor. Gorgon sees the green goliath up in the skies - a shiver running down his spine in panic; accidently turns himself to stone. In Lowtown, Madame Hydra also notices a jade figure afar and hears a terrible roar. Locks herself up in her shack for a week.
Hulk makes a short stop on top of the Hand Tower. Hundreds of Ninjas hide in the shadows. All shlt themselves and remain hidden. Elektra is frozen in shock, hides and shadows. Dishonored, the Hand abandon the ninja trade and form a vegetarian hippie community in the bamboo forest. Elektra leaves Madripoor for good and heads for a new gig in New York.
Two weeks later. Hulk is once again passing through The Big Apple and - blinded by some reflection - accidently crashes into the top floor of Wilson Fisk's tower. Mr Fisk rises to the occasion - but not without instantly pushing the secret red button to alert his newly hired bodyguards. Fisks knows things do not bode well - but as Kingpin he must stand his ground. (For dat street cred. Fo' shizzle? Fo' sho!) Bullseye and Elektra bust in, both turning pale. Fearing the wrath of Kingpin, they engange the Greenskin. A thunderclap later, window glass prices skyrocket in NY. Elektra and Bullseye both turn to a life of aiding the hearing impaired. Due to joining that crowd themselves. Kingpin, on the other hand, actually puts up a fight as it takes more than a backhand slap before he goes down. It takes two. Mr Fisk moves on to join Gold's Gym and hires a lot more bodygaurds.
Hopping away, Hulk passes by an old trainyard and notices a gaping hole in the side of a small church. Curious, he peeks inside and is instantly charged by the Juggernaut. A fight erupts which causes hundreds of Purifiers in the vicinity to shlt themselves and later on join the red cross. Hulk actually does break a sweat before sending Juggernaut to the land of dreams. Cain Marko denies all knowledge of the incident.
Leaping through the countryside Hulk passes a paramilitary training camp - after which the red cross is joined by another 3000 Purifiers. The Blob huddles up in a trench, unnoticed by Hulk. (Mr Dukes redefines the word "entrenchment", gaining a personal ZIP code for Pizza deliveries over the years.) Alarmed to Hulk's presence on some security monitors, Magneto and Pyro both shlt themselves during their Purifier raid. Pyro ignites the building in panic, while Erik quickly hovers off, encased in a foot-thick ball of scrap metal. He later on applies at Xavier's for the job of facility manager.
Annoyed by the american continent, Hulk roams the rest of the world for a while and happens upon the Savage Land. Dinosaurs become extinct. This time for real. As do swamp mutates. Mr Sinister succesfully hides in his lab and starts cloning himself a thousandfold. For self-preservation.
Once again on the road, Hulk lands on a small Island crowded with strange robots and puny humans in green outfits, who instantly start pew-pewing. The soon-to-be-common-domain "FAIL HYDRA!" exclamation is born. Madame Hydra successfully hides again and actually does go broke over the years due to constant hiring of more and more goons to operate her force-field-generators. Whilst hiding in her shack in Madripoor for the rest of her life. Back on the island, 10 mysterious rings are found amongst some broken terracotta statues by authorities investigating seismic disturbances. Origin unknown.
Leaping on, Hulk chances upon a facility swarming with weird dino-bots. Reminded of the annoaynces in the Savage Land, Hulk decides to SMASH. Dino-bots become extinct as well. The Wizard manages to escape unnoticed and lands a gig in weather forecast on national TV. The re-surfaced Doc Ock also tries to run off in the shadows, but stumbles, getting caught up in his mecha-arms. Wakes up with the mecha arms missing. Is never heard of again. For months and years to come, what apperars to be a giant head in some hover-chair is sighted all over the globe, always suddenly appearing and instantly disappearing. Only a faint "... He's coming! ... Must get away! ... Never stop! ... He's coming ..." can be heard. Reports also indicate "something smelly" in the vicinity of the apparition.
A few weeks later Hulk is seen leaping through Europe, and all of a sudden, Latveria declares freedom and democracy. Due to undisclosed circumstances, Dr Doom moves on to become secretary general for the UN. Asked about his abandoned armor, Victor von Doom declares "it got ... ahem... rusty beyond repair".
Some time later Hulk ends up in snowy Norway. Unbeknownst to him, a Fantasti-car takes off at great speed in the distance. It's smelly inside. Hulk stumbles upon a mysterious circle of stone with shiny runes and decides to take a look. Observing the passage site from Asgard, Loki in panic joins forces with Malekith and Kurse to collapse the rainbow bridge. They succeed. And high-five.
"Puny Stones" Hulk growls. Stomps, cracking the earth. Leaps off into the distance.
THE END
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